Why it’s Important to Shut The F*ck Up Sometimes

I had an epiphany today, and I feel semi-dumb about it but I must share in the hopes it will help one person! I am a talker, anyone that knows me personally knows this. While I have the gift of gab, I consider myself a pretty good listener and often end up giving advice to close friends and family. All of this is good, but I realized I don’t listen as much as I think I do! 

It’s easy to miss, but many of us are guilty of listening to respond. That means you are not in the present moment, listening to the other person for understanding. You simply want your point to be heard. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, but something this simple can block you from so many messages and perspectives!

I saw Iyanla Vanzant say something in her show that struck a chord with me – “Make it a rule, that while the person you care about is talking you DO NOT speak”. 

Sounds easy enough right? Wrong. Start to become aware of how much you cut people off. It could be from excitement or irritation but either way, you are only getting half of what they think and feel. 

I asked my fiancĂ© something today that I’ve asked several times before. Today I made a point of being present and listening to his response, with intention to understand not defend. After letting him express the fullness of his idea, I got more clarity on the conversation than I ever had! 

I still jumped in some, but this small moment created a spark. If I can, if we can simply Shut the F*ck Up sometimes, it leads to greater understanding! 

Has communication caused you problems in a relationship before? I’d love to hear about it, let’s chat! Xo 

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